Detachment or Destruction?

So I shall write a little about work. I make no apologies for this. After all, It does occupy the largest chunk of my waking time (and unfortunately some of my sleeping time too).

I have been trying to solve the same problem for about 5 months now. At least 5 times I have thought I had the solution only to discover a reason that whilst it might be a nice idea, it isn't ideal for our particular problem. One of these ideas I came up with turned out to be something a French guy had done in 1981 as his PhD. So months of work, and lots of things tried and the solution is still not in my hands, though I again feel it is in reach.

Through this cycle, I have become aware just how much my mood depends on how the work is proceeding. When I have left work thinking the problem is solved, all is good. When I get pulled away when I think I am on the verge of a breakthrough, I am irritable. When I am stuck, I feel depressed and am easily distracted.

Of course this phenomena is not unique to me. We all experience it to varying degrees, but perhaps PhD students amplify it since a PhD is so individual. Whilst your supervisor is a guide, the only person who you are accountable to is yourself, and you must be self driven. Clearly too much occupation with work can be destructive, but on the flip side you have to care enough about it or you will not succeed. This line of detachment or destruction is fine to walk, and I probably fall on destructive side too much.

When you are working on a difficult problem that has not been solved before, progress will inevitably be non-linear; this must be true of any PhD. I try to ride the wave when it goes well, but this can lead to working too obsessively and falling off when the wake breaks. Hence this feeds the above cycle. Hopefully being aware of it is the first step in being able to manage it better. The trick is to care about work at work, but to find a way to contain it and leave it there. Perhaps some more strict working hours would be in order.

And looking forward, I am soon to move in with some good friends so should have more distractions to go home to. Also, the problem I am working on concerns inventing a new method. Once I have it, I hope using it, and interpreting the results will be easier - or at least my more amenable to steadier progress.

So am I crazy or can anyone relate to this?